A crowd of hundreds of thousands (OK, hundreds, probably) gathered to see
the man, Pimp Daddy Welfare, and hear his heartfelt lyrics. And, to a
lesser degree, to see the bands Verbal Dynamite and Train of Thought, who
opened for him. Even though Verbal Dynamite didn't do "Chocolate
Chip" they were still impressive.
Your humble reviewer was psyched and pumped for the show. I could
hardly wait to get there, so I sped up the highway at mach 2 (OK, 82
MPH. But at least I got a picture) to see the legendary, the one and only,
Pimp Daddy Welfare. I arrived a little early and took a few pictures with
PDW and Jewboy (and only one came out, thanks to a digital camera that had
to fuck with me).
Verbal Dynamite got the party started and got the crowd energized and
hopping around, doing some 14-year old version of moshing. Later on Train
of Thought took the stage and actually got the crowd to hurt each other in
the mosh pit. Pretty good performance all around, and it got the audience
prepared for some real hardcore shit from PDW.
Pimp Daddy Welfare, along with hDJ Jewboy, then took the stage, in a
cowboys and indians theme. Except JB decided not to be a cowboy. They got
the party started with one of PDW's first tracks, "Pimp On The Prowl".
That didn't seem to get these Fairfield, Ohio motherfuckers going, so the
next track was a beautiful rendition of "Beat The Bitch That Talks 2 Much"
that got everyone clapping and singing along, except for the crazy bitch
that came in from outside to chuck a beer can at PDW.
I don't remember all the songs that went on, but definitely memorable in
the set was a freestyle rap where PDW enlightened the audience to the
glory of butt sex with bitches, hoes, Dave Davis, and Sugar Ray. Another
memorably good track was "Outsidaz" which, as PDW explained, was full of
rage. It was during this song that some random girl in the audience
explained to me that he was "fuckin' nuts" and left the show. My guess is
she was just too sexually worked up by PDW to stay. You can never tell
with them silly bitches.
Soon PDW's vodka and peach schnapps drinking seemed to affect his flow, so
he turned it down a notch, busted out the skillet and wooden spoon, and
laid down a phat Waffle House tune.... aww yeah. "Waffle Whore House," a
crowd favorite, was next and (what was left of) the audience could hardly
contain itself. This part of the show is especially memorable to me,
because he was using the wooden spoon that I brought from 400 miles away!
(sniff, sniff) Then, the sad part. The spoon broke like a piece of
unamerican shit. Luckily, PDW was prepared, and had a package of three
Kroger wooden spoons on hand, and almost immediately broke another one.
The wooden spatula-spoon seemed to be the savior that night, and PDW
carried on. He asked various members of the audience (including my damn
self) to join him for the "I'm cookin' at the Waffle House/Unzip my pants
and pull my dick out" part, which was classy. PDW is a man with class.
The show closed out with "Elmo Ain't Yo Average Nza/The Return of Elmo"
which got everyone, not just the hardcore motherfuckers, singing along.
Because Elmo is one bad motherfucker. Which brings up an interesting point
about the venue, Skunk-A-Rific CDs. They have a slogan painted on the
wall, and in fact, you can see it behind PDW's head if you look closely.
"Not Your Average CD Store" ... doesn't that sound ever so slightly like
it's biting on PDW's style? Not your average CD store.. not your average
nza.. the mind boggles.
After the show PDW invited everyone to a fine meal at the Waffle House,
and at least 13 people accepted. Once at the Waffle House, PDW made a
beeline for the jukebox, and played "Cookin' At The Waffle House" 14
times. Damn waitresses reset it after about two plays though. Rejected!
Why then PDW didn't administer a smack-down to those hoes I'll never know,
probably because he was so damn drunk and hungry for some waffles.
All in all it was a kick ass show. I got a signed (broken) wooden spoon, a
video of the Bernie's concert, a CD, and some signed porn, all of which
I've archived and will be able to sell on eBay for hi dollar amounts when
PDW makes it big, or keep forever, whichever comes first. PDW and JB are
both a couple of real classy nzas, not against socializing with the common
man.
It is also worth mentioning that on the way back to North Carolina, while
filling up on gas, a Kentucky (I think) state trooper asked me what the
PDW on my car stood for. (I would have a picture but the damn digital
camera ate it.) I told him "Pimp Daddy Welfare" and showed him some of my
concert swag. He was immediately less interested and walked away, saying
something about the youth of today.
Also, of no interest to anyone but me, I saw a Renault Fuego on the way
back, and took a picture of it. Figures that this would be one of the five
pictures that actually came out. The digital camera ate about two dozen
good PDW pictures, including a couple of PDW, JB, and myself next to the
car, another one of the sign, and a few of PDW on stage. Fuck.
Of some slight interest, I got back to North Carolina on Saturday,
sometime in the afternoon. The whole trip was about 780 miles, total time
spent was about 26 hours. Well worth it. And if I could find one word,
just one word, to describe it, that word would be:
Awesome.
By Eric Sechrist, CanEHdian.com
